CINDY HATES DISCO

CINDY WRITES TO US::

From: Cindy

Date: Feb 3, 2008 8:46 AM

Subject: Baby loves club scene

Are you nuts?

Glorifying the club scene to an innocent little person? Why not just put a bottle of alcohol in the the little person's hand and say go party!

I'm all for kids having fun but a club? Come on are you brain dead? Maybe so if you are having cocktails while kids are dancing around. Maybe you were drinking when you thought of this idea.

Children do not belong in a club.

Hope you are proud of your future alcoholics and are prepared to pay for their addiction treatment when they get older.

HEATHER RESPONDS TO CINDY

Hey there-

I’m Heather Murphy Monteith and I am the original creator and currently one of the two founders of Baby Loves Disco. It is very surprising and alarming to read your response and reaction to Baby Loves Disco, so I hope you will read this as I tell you a bit more about this family event. I actually share some of your same concerns. I too do not want my children (now 1year old and 5 years old) to grow up too quickly or be exposed to aspects of our culture that educates them too early about adult choices and behaviors... I understand that as a concept you may find our event a bit different, but please know that we are serving families and are creating a space for them to hang-out together in both a fun and physical way.. Yes, we offer alcoholic options for non driving parents.... as most folks do at many standard family get-togethers, from baptisms to birthdays and even funerals. If you would like to hear more about what really goes on in this event and why I was inspired to create it, please read on.. Otherwise, "please don't knock it till you try it"... Fair enough?

First of all, I firmly believe in the African proverb which states: “It takes a village to raise a child”. My inspiration for creating Baby Disco is the desire to create a community event with a kid-centered, yet “real life” perspective… I feel very strongly that a major fault in American culture is the tendency towards separating “types” of people: rich from poor, black from white and young from old. On the flip side, a major talent of American culture is the ability to create a whole lot of specific events and environments to specifically satisfy each group. As you know, the typical child events stretch from the “Chucky Cheese” experience to the local Zoo, museums and of course, Gymboree.

I have to say that my son takes away some fun from these experiences but with an amount of dumbed-down perspective and commercialism that I find offensive. (Our Zoo is sponsored by a car manufacturer and a local junk food chain.) “Disney” seems to creep into anything that involves children and the “made to order” environments imply a world that serves too easily to the limited attention span and skimps on real resonance for the whole family as a unit. What can you do? We go to these places and events a handful of times per year, but in the end our children are exposed to and learn more from everyday life and the rituals that we, as parents and as teachers, share with them. So, I created this event to instill some good old fashioned- dance- together FUN (!) back into our generation of inspired parents and their little dancers.. (Parents who believe that we do not need to throw our old selves "out" to be great parents and parents who are excited about a monthly opportunity to dance and play with their kids in a way that is equally resonant for both the big and small people!) Baby Loves Disco serves as a meeting ground for parents, friends, family and caregivers of young children- a place to chat and be social while dancing with the little ones… or to read a book to a toddler in the “chill-out room”..... or nurse an infant in a public place that embraces and celebrates the intimate act of feeding ones child. This event serves the priorities of the family and its village- refusing to separate these concerns of parent vs. child and refusing to accept that parenting is an isolated experience- while striving to create a resonant experience for all in the sprit of sharing music and dance. So.. still sound so horrible to you?

As humans we are only a sum of our experiences and memories. Baby Disco embraces an urban culture of parenting that remembers and celebrates our histories as people and shares them with our children in a safe and fun way… Aren’t we lucky? The decible level is around 75dbl and the music played is mostly classic disco… plus lots some clean 80's and contemporary favorites (yes, requests are taken and the 7 and under set have no complaints to the lyrics they cannot yet decipher..). The bubble maching is a crowd favorite as are the egg shakers and scarves… Both the big people’s snacks as well as kids snacks are simple, healthy fare and without any sugarbombs or junk.

And the club…. yes, the venue that houses drinking adults at night is a perfect canvas for this family dance party event.. We triple clean the clubs, make sure they are safe and then we throw a wonderful party. Tell me, are our ballparks safe for kids? Are we raising generations of cursing beer drinkers by bringing our kids to a football game? In my opinion, yes, but that seems to be an acceptable aspect of the experience for many folks... I would take my own 1 and 5 year old children to Baby Loves Disco over a sports arena, any day. But that is me. I respect that we must all make our own choices and that we choose to parent and lead lifestyles in ways that we are comfortable with... We are so lucky in that we live in a culture that encourages choices and I enjoy teaching my children that there are many options in life and that we must all choose what we believe to be right and comfortable for ourselves, without judging others for their choices. So, Max and Isadora and I LOVE our Little People’s” music class every Thursday morning and we really have a blast and love dancing with our friends at Baby Loves Disco. This is what we choose to do together and it works for us.

I invite you to come see for yourself…but come early because we do sell-out way before the dance floor gets tight.

Best to you and your family,

Heather

Heather Murphy Monteith, founder

BABY LOVES DISCO, LLC

1508 Christian Street

Philadelphia PA 19146

www.babylovesdisco.com

CINDY RESPONDS TO HEATHER RESONDING TO CINDY

On Feb 4, 2008, at 6:47 AM, MARSACK Cindy wrote:

The fact that you are surprised and alarmed by my response says mountains of what you don't know or choose to ignore about the choice of venue for Baby Loves Disco. Why not a local gym or community center? I am not opposed to the event, I am opposed to the venue and the fact that alcohol is served. Is cigarette smoking also allowed during these events? I'm sorry but in my opinion the venue specifically serves to the adults of Baby Loves Disco and not the children at all. Tell me, how do you control / monitor who is drinking and who is driving? You probably don't do you?

I find it difficult to believe that the "triple cleaning" that you do really takes away the smell of cigarettes and alcohol. While sporting events do allow alcohol they confine cigarette smoking to a specific area which is usually outdoors.

I realize that we are all differnt individuals with differing opinions but I just find this so very wrong on so many different levels.

You charge $12 per person for this event and yet you expect your children to be exposed to different people, cultures and lifestyles? How many families can afford to do this? The families that cannot afford this event are more than likely the families with different cultures and lifestyles that you claim to want your children exposed to???? Did you choose a bar in Ferndale so that your children would be exposed to the gay community?

"Dumbed down perspective"? "Commercialism that you find offensive"? Zoos and museums? I'm sure that the sponsors of your local bar are much better for your children than a car mfg and a junk food chain? Do you cover up the Budweiser Clydesdales? You don't see the Tigers or the Pistons flashing beer/alcohol advertisements on the scoreboards. Nope they show Dunkin Donuts and Pizza.

Do you really expect a parent with an alcohol problem to do the right thing and not drink? If you do then you really lack an education in alcohol abuse.

Do you know any alcoholics? Would you know one if you saw one?

I'm an alcoholic (47 and sober 7yrs). I do not take my step-children into bars. We do attend many sporting events where they are exposed to many drunk obnoxious people but when they are exposed to these drunks they get an education from us about how this drunken lifestyle is dangerous to everyone and that it is not condusive to a productive life. My father is a recovering alcoholic and had he not exposed my sister and I to this kind of life; the glorification of alcohol and clubs and the whole socially acceptable aspect of drinking we may not be drunks ourselves.

While it takes a village to raise a child don't forget that children also learn what they live.

To quote you, "The 7 and under set have no complaints to the lyrics they cannot yet decipher" . Isn't it the 7 and under set that is constantly learning new words on a daily basis?

One final thought; Your response to me was full of justification for the choice of venue for Baby Loves Disco but if you re-read it the justification is centered around the adults. "Parents who believe that we do not have to throw our old selves out to be great parents" "Meeting ground for parents, friends, family & caregivers " In other words; I don't want to take my children to a venue that does not serve my own needs as well.

Maybe it will become my mission to stop these self-centered parents.

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HEATHER RESPONDS TO CINDY RESPONDING TO HEATHER RESPONDING TO CINDY

Hi again-

Clearly your personal issues are are clouding any understanding of what we do. Your alarms are going "off" because you cannot imagine that what we are doing is safe and ok. Do you really think I'm an idiot? You do not have to like this event and no one is forcing you to attend BUT you have to be really daft to actually think that i have not researched and examined every aspect of what we are doing.. I have been doing this for 4 years and the critics (the hardest and worst of them) have come and given applause and rave reviews. Also, I am a mother, first, and

I take offense to your bitter comments as you have not once seen what I am doing but think you still deserve to judge and criticize. Also, you might want to consider the difference between self-expression and attack, as you are being simply mean to me without reason. I am open to your thoughts and concerns but have no patience for personal attacks.

so........

Shame on you, You have no idea what you are talking about so please do continue to attend your sports games with your children and enjoy your dunkin' donuts and pizza hut... We will be dancing to fun music and playing with scarves and egg shakers and bubbles, oh- and eating carrot sticks with hummus.... And let me not forget to mention that we will be brining our best friend, Ami and her wife, Carmen along with their two children. Yup, they are gay... and you are a close minded fool to think that there is anything wrong with that.

I am very sorry that I ever responded to your initial e-mail and I do hope you will not attend our events, as we cater to open-minded, inspired folks who are amazing parents with well balanced and generally happy kids.

Be well.

Cheers,

Heather